(Juneau Alaska Triathlon Times) Performance Enhancing Chicken Feed (PECF) have always been a contentious issue in multi-sport racing, with local tradition and jurisdiction of governing bodies combining in odd and awkward ways. Both the Union Cycliste International nor Triathlon Canada responded for comment on the proposed bi-law amendment to the Greater Wanup Triathlon Club's recent motion to remove PECF's from the list of schedule-1 substances when testing for high-performance multi-sport racing.
The issue comes down to local homesteaders refusing to submit egg-samples to officials from the governing bodies during random sample screening for performance enhancing aviaries.
"These eggs are hand-picked daily from our flocks", said the local homesteader, "We buy whatevers (sic) at the General store, and we can't be responsible for what is or isn't in the feed", said the anonymous member of the Greater Wanup Triathlon club, as they speedily rode away towards one of the Red Deer Lake Roads, looking svelte on their new gravel bike and bright pink T-mobile kit with matching white bib shorts.
Some investigative reporting with dramatic music took place, and these photographs surfaced on social media:
Although most of the purported ingredients in the above photographs appear to be a snopes.com listicle of the most failed training fads ever, it's rumoured that local homesteaders swear by the efficacy of this particular mix, and that it has been purpose built for local conditions.
I have forwarded this to my contacts at WADA.
ReplyDeleteThey have randomly selected some sample eggs for testing. They came from a refrigerator that was plugged in to a daisy-chain of extension cords at the side of the road, which had a sheet of plywood resting on it upon which was scrawled, crudely, in red spray paint. "EGGS $2".
ReplyDeleteThe WADA agents, in compliance with the governing of rules of the UCI but in violation of "the honour system", did not deposit any money into the coffee can that was inside the refrigerator when they removed their samples.