Controversy as UCI and Triathlon Canada both miss deadlines to comment on issue of Performance Enhancing Chicken Feed

 (Juneau Alaska Triathlon Times) Performance Enhancing Chicken Feed (PECF) have always been a contentious issue in multi-sport racing, with local tradition and jurisdiction of governing bodies combining in odd and awkward ways.  Both the Union Cycliste International nor Triathlon Canada responded for comment on the proposed bi-law amendment to the Greater Wanup Triathlon Club's recent motion to remove PECF's from the list of schedule-1 substances when testing for high-performance multi-sport racing.

The issue comes down to local homesteaders refusing to submit egg-samples to officials from the governing bodies during random sample screening for performance enhancing aviaries.

"These eggs are hand-picked daily from our flocks", said the local homesteader, "We buy whatevers (sic) at the General store, and we can't be responsible for what is or isn't in the feed", said the anonymous member of the Greater Wanup Triathlon club, as they speedily rode away towards one of the Red Deer Lake Roads, looking svelte on their new gravel bike and bright pink T-mobile kit with matching white bib shorts.

Some investigative reporting with dramatic music took place, and these photographs surfaced on social media:

Although most of the purported ingredients in the above photographs appear to be a snopes.com listicle of the most failed training fads ever, it's rumoured that local homesteaders swear by the efficacy of this particular mix, and that it has been purpose built for local conditions.

Greater Wanup residents lodge complaints amid increased multi-sport training activity in Greater Wanup

 (c/o Greater Wanup Daily News) Tensions are on the rise as year-round local residents grapple with the nuisances of noise and traffic associated with the soaring increase of self-propelled multi-sport training activities in and around the Great Wanup region of Greater Sudbury.  One, and possibly more, young adult female year-round residents took to the streets yesterday to protest the rampant climb of multi-sport racing in the Greater Wanup area.

"We're used to sleds and quads, they make a lot of noise and you can hear them from miles away.  But these multi-sport athletes are ninjas.  Next thing you have some soccer dad with a bike worth a couple decades worth of Moose Tags sneak up on you on the road!",  said the young local resident, when interviewed under the condition of anonymity, "(sic)... and these mid-life reborn multi-sport athletes need to realize there are other patrons of these community resources."

(Reuters Assoc. Photog. Press Photo Creative Commons Licensing) Greater Wanup Residents take to the road to protest increase in multi-sport training in Greater Wanup.

Though they did not register an official response, the Greater Wanup Triathlon Club did appear to have some potential activity during the time of the incident, when an awkward balding triathlete-ish looking dad was encountered shortly after on one of the Red Deer Lake Roads.

"I just don't see the big deal", said the local homesteader and purported multi-sport athlete, " 'Swim, bike run, fish', is the local quadrathlon, a racing sport that has been here since time immemorial, and combines the endurance racing trifecta of open water swimming, on or off road cycling, and running, with the survival pursuit of fishing and overnight camping."

"The local multi-sport training potential is tremendous", said another younger area resident, "Open water swimming, beaches, Moosees".

 
 

North Bay, Fairbank Lake training camps concluded, pundits speculate: time to taper?

A long weekend of training starting with a 1.5 day training camp in North Bay, Ontario, followed followed by a 1.5 day training camp at Fairbank lake provincial park.  TSN analyst note that the training spreadsheet has not been dutifully updated, leading to speculation that Rob is following the classic VCC tactic of sandbagging.  Allegations of sandbagging aside, paparazzi stationed at the provincial park gathered some eye-witness evidence that training potentially took place; and as no drownings were reported over the long-weekend, it is unlikey that Rob took advantage of the 275m long lane rope spanning the swim area at Fairbank lakes pristine beach, for training sessions spanning into the 1s of kilometers.

A quick hammock was all the setup Rob needed for his hasty solo training retreat.  A lengthy gravel road in the vicinity, and the famed Wa-Shai-Ga-Mog hiking trail are rumoured to have seen some world-class* training over the weekend.

 Fairbank lake is a cold, clear, spring-fed lake, with a large swim lane demarked, ideal for taking photos from the shore of a potential training spot.

With 11 days till race day the sporting worlds sits on it's toes: is now the time to taper?  At 11 days it would be one of Rob's shorter in his career, with a previous PB of a 9.5 year taper.

Greater Wanup Triathlon Club training update: Rob announces decenium personal best

 (Greater Wanup Gazette) A training update from local homesteader and multi-sport athlete Rob.  After attending a training 1.5 day training camp in North Bay Ontario, taking zero rest days Rob was up early for a morning ride around scenic Greater Wanup.  With a total distance of over 25 kilometers, and lasting well over an hour, the statistics tracking indicates that this is Rob's longest ride in close to one metric decade, a personal best!

"I really hit the wall at the 3km mark", said Rob, "but I pushed through it and stopped for an eye-opener at the General Store.  Luckily there was the recent addition of a new gravel bike to my training arsenal, as road conditions here were tougher than usual."

 

 

When asked about the route of his personal-achievement setting ride Rob responded:

"I wanted to explore the diverse country side and training potential of the Greater Wanup area - some of those areas, especially out towards 'Old Wanup' are rather remote".